Waiting to Die

Most of us do whatever we can to prolong our life. We try dieting, exercising, wear seatbelts, look both ways before crossing the street, etc. We want to live...as Thoreau says, "Living is so precious."

Last Friday, we buried my Grandmother's body. She was 94 and lived a great, full life. We are so thankful that she is with Jesus now. Her mind clearer than ever and her body spriter than in her youth, she walks the fields of gold with Grandpa. For those of us left behind, it is bittersweet. We celebrate her life, and we mourn her gone from our midst. Yet, as the days go by, Grandma has left me thinking...

Since Grandpa died in 2004, Grandma has missed her soulmate of 64 years. She continued to say, "I'm ready," which we all knew meant that she was ready to die. She wanted to be reunited with her maker, her family and friends, and her best friend, Grandpa. While she fully understood that Heaven is different and that we aren't married there, she also knew that the loves of her life were not here. Having raised a great family (yes, I'm biased), she was finished here, and her heart longed for a different home, Heaven, where the greatest lover of her life, God, was waiting along with many saints that have gone on before her...including "Bill."

I've begun to ask myself this question. Does my heart ache for Heaven? What things am I so attached to that I want to stay here? Are they worthy of such attachment? Do I long for God like that...enough to "go home"?

St. Paul said, "To live is Christ and to die is gain." He wrestled with this same issue, and he found no clear answer himself. Living is so precious, yet I ponder what wonders lay on the other side. Do I have faith to trust God that what waits is better than what is? And, so I ponder this enigmatic verse: To live is Christ and to die is gain.

Thanks Grandma for teaching me one more lesson as you left us. Cheers to you Grandma for you have lived Christ and gained all. We arise and call you blessed.